First off, this whole experience thus far has been a complete blessing from God. I take none of the credit for anything that has happened- having Olivia was apparently a part of our greater plan as the pregnancy was completely unexpected (and not tried for either *wink wink*) and the changes that He made in me during this time, and continue to make, are incredible; like I said, I take none of the credit.
Everybody still thinks its weird that I am a mommy, and I really don't blame them! I never really pictured myself as a mom; I knew it would happen one day, but it wasn't my ultimate life dream, if that makes sense. And so, all of these worries and anxieties and fears that I had about being pregnant and being a mom, God has totally taken away. And He's replaced it with love, patience, honor, love, and more love! It's incredible.
Okay, so onto how my life changed after Olivia was born:
Nobody really prepared me for what having a newborn was going to really be like, so I was totally clueless. Come to find out, they eat....a LOT! I never had any issues with breastfeeding, Olivia latched on perfectly the first time I offered it to her (thank God), so I didn't have to 'deal' with any of that. However, I slowly came to realize that I was, literally, a human pacifier...another thing I was totally unaware of.
The first day was pretty easy, simply because she slept most of the day. She would cry to eat, so I would feed her and then she'd fall back asleep. I was thinking "man, this is easy!"
A few days later, however, I realized what it was really going to be like. During the day she would eat probably every hour or so when she was awake, and every 2-3 hours when she was sleeping. At night she would be up every 2-3 hours. I think there was only one or two times that she was up after an hour or so after I fed her. I made it hard on myself for the first week, by physically getting out of bed and sitting in the rocking chair to feed her. Then I would put her on the changing table, change her diaper, feed her on the other side and then lay her back down once I had thought that she fell back asleep (her eyes were closed, doesn't that mean she was asleep?!). So after I laid her down and got myself all nice and cozy in the bed again, she would start crying. Then I would have to get back up...you get the idea.
So, after the first week I got 'smart' and did a lot of research and she started co-sleeping with us. Before she was in a bassinet right next to the bed. And keep in mind, she shares a room with us, so I wasn't going to a whole separate room just to get her. Once she started sleeping with us, I noticed that she was sleeping a lot better. Of course, it was trying on us...having to sleep in the same position all night so we didn't squish her and not being able to sleep next to the hubby was hard too. But looking back, it was all worth it.
So once she started co-sleeping with us, I would sit up on the bed to nurse her. I had a Boppy pillow that I would put behind me to offer more support. So I would do the same thing as before, except I wouldn't get out of bed. This worked a little better...however, she would still wake up sometimes when I set her down after feeding.
So, what I ended up doing, which worked great, is just nurse her lying down. I would make sure that her head was elevated above her chest (to help prevent ear infections) and we would lay together while she nursed. Then if I needed to change her, I kept everything by the bed and I would just change her in the bed, nurse the other side if I needed to and then we would both drift off. Perfect! She was sleeping 3-4 hours during the night within a few weeks.
During the day was almost more difficult and it seemed like she wanted to eat constantly as long as she was awake. I didn't mind, as I had told myself I wasn't going to put her on any type of schedule, I just didn't know if that was normal or not. The evenings were the roughest...there were many nights that I would literally just sit on the couch or the bed or the rocking chair just switching her back and forth sides...since she would nurse one side, then 5 minutes later start crying again. Then she would eventually fall asleep.
It was hard for me when Roger went back to teaching (he was off for 3 weeks) because if I wanted to cook, I usually had to put her down. Well, she didn't like that. But then if I had her in the wrap and she wanted to eat, I would have to take her out, manuver my shirt and the wrap so she could nurse...it was a big pain. I did figure out how to nurse with the moby wrap on, so that was helpful...but I would pretty much just stop what I was doing to make her content, and then go back to what I was doing (which was usually cooking). This was frustrating at first because I was just trying to figure her out, she had no idea what was going on....we were both new to it and just working our way through it!
Going out to the barn was not easy at all. Traveling wasn't easy at first. Our first trip out was a week after she was born to go see Dr Ryan to get adjusted. I was so nervous! I sat in the back with her, afraid that if she started screaming her head off we would have to pull over so I could nurse. She actually did great the first trip, she slept the whole time. But getting to the barn, where I would have to get out and leave her for a little while, was really difficult. I would think she was sleeping and then she wasn't...and of course the only way to get her to calm down was to nurse her. So, I spent a lot of time in the backseat nursing her and making sure she was okay. This was frustrating for me, just because I wanted to get to the barn, get chores done and get home....not that simple! Even with people helping me it was not a fun trip....just because I didn't want her to be unhappy the whole time.
I know that I tried everything those first few weeks...putting her on the bouncer, letting her sleep on the couch, wearing her in my wrap, putting her in the bassinet etc. I soon came to realize that I literally just had to let everything go, and go with the flow. Go with what she was telling me was going to work (sounds a lot like my horse training....hmmm...that will be different post).
She hated her first bath...but I know that's because she was cold when we took her out. We tried it in the kitchen sink with a space heater blowing her direction, but she was still too cold because it was such an open area. So we started giving her baths in the stand-up shower; we heat the bathroom nice and warm and keep her in there....she likes it much better now!
I am over my fear of traveling with her now. I was always worried about having to stop every 10 minutes to feed her...or wondering if she would just start crying and I couldn't calm her down. Now, I just say to myself "I'm going out...and if I need to nurse her I'll go here...or I'll take some extra time here..." With that attitude, I haven't had any problems traveling with her, especially to the barn.
She is almost 8 weeks old now and I would say is pretty much sleeping through the night (5-7 hours). Sometimes she has to fall asleep on me, and others (like tonight) she just falls asleep by herself. We moved her into the bassinet about two weeks ago and she is doing great. I put her in the bed to nurse lying down and once she's done I just move her back into the bassinet and she either stays asleep or falls back asleep.
Using cloth diapers hasn't really been a big deal. We used disposables for the first 10-14 days. She was big enough by then to fit in the cloth. The biggest thing was prepping the diapers and making sure we had the correct detergent. I do laundry every other day, mainly because I don't want bacteria sitting on the diapers much longer than that. I could probably go 3 days if I had to before washing. I have only had to change her cloths a few times because it went through the diaper....all in all I am pretty impressed with them actually.
She is adapting so well to anything we do with her, it's just amazing. I know I just have to keep the attitude of "it will all work out" and not be such a direct-line thinker! That really helps. Having her on any type of schedule seems crazy to me at this point. The only thing we have scheduled is bedtime, and she gets that.
